All posts filed under “London Life

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How to survive an earthquake in London

Step 1 – Stare curiously at the couch, trying to figure out if it’s moving because the neighbor downstairs is doing something strange.

Step 2 – Realise that it’s rather late at night, so neither your neighbor downstairs nor the empty flat next door is responsible.

Step 3 – Remember that it feels strangely like an earthquake you felt in Hawaii on holiday about ten years ago.

Step 4 – Go to bed.

Step 5 – Wake up to news from the BBC saying there was a earthquake (5.2 on the Richter scale) in Lincolnshire.

Easy!

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From the London Metro

I couldn’t pass up quoting this:

A stunned schoolboy was given a birthday to remember when a stripper performed a no-holds-barred routine for him — while he was still in class.

The youngster’s mother asked an agency to send a man dressed in a gorilla suit to mark his 16th birthday. But the booking got mixed up and a ‘sexy policewoman’ turned up at the un-named lad’s drama class.

His fellow students could only look as she stripped off and invited him to rub cream on her bottom.

Now education officials have launched an investigation into the incident at Arnold Hill School in Nottingham. A witness said: ‘We were in shock.’

Gorilla… policewoman… I can see where the confusion might lie.

UPDATE:

New quote from the afternoon edition:

‘The teacher was stunned but when the cream came out, she told her “that’s it, that’s enough”‘

-Classmate of the lad in question

I’m a firm believer in that cream always puts a situation over the top…